If you think things are back to normal in Zimbabwe, just walk into a bank.

If you think things are back to normal in Zimbabwe, just walk into a bank. Its something I haven't done for many months and flipping through my last cheque book reminded me of the mayhem of our banks less than a year ago. My cheque stubbs look like something from a crazy kindergarten. There's a payment for a telephone bill of four hundred million dollars, another to a dentist for forty one billion dollars. There's a deposit of four trillion, six hundred billion dollars and another page showing a balance on hand of fourteen trillion dollars. One page is slashed through in red ink with the words : "NB: Aug 08: 10 zeroes removed by Gono." And then, in October 2008, also in red ink on a cheque stubb are the words: "Can't get in bank, queues of thousands."

It seems like a lifetime ago but in fact its just a year ago that this was happening and now of course Zimbabwe doesn't even have its own currency - thanks to Zanu PF and Reserve Bank Governor Mr Gono. Zimbabwe's much talked about sovereignty is long gone when it comes to the economy and now we buy and sell in US dollars and South African Rand. Having been taught since childhood to save, save save, I decided it was time to get back into the banking habit.

I was the only customer in the newly refurbished international bank in my home town last week. Yes I still have an account, they told me after tapping in my numbers, but it's no longer valid. The balance left there in January 2009 of trillions, or was it quadrillions, is gone - apparently eaten up by devaluation and ledger fees, not converted to 'real' US dollar money. A new account number has been allocated to me, the bank said but it's dormant and requires a deposit of 20 US dollars to bring it to life. No, the bank say, the money left in my account doesn't qualify to activate the new account, you must deposit REAL money they insist. Once this has been done I enquire about a cheque book - oh no we haven't got any yet I'm told. And an ATM card - oh please, what planet am I on to be asking such an insane question!

A week later with the account open and activated I take a deep breath and embark on the first withdrawal. I am the only customer in the bank and my shoes click loudly as I cross the polished floor. The lady at the enquiries desk is applying her make up and doesn't stop as I stand in front of her. She won't tell me if my expected transfer has arrived. She says I have to fill in a slip before she can tap the number into the computer. She doesn't have any slips, I've got to get them from a man sitting at a desk back at the entry door. I walk back across the banking hall, the man is busy chatting and laughing to someone on the phone. He ignores me until he is finished. I fill in the slip back at the enquiries desk while the lady carries on with her face decorating, mirror in hand, lips pouted.

Finally with a completed cash withdrawal slip in hand I approach the only teller on duty. I am still the only customer but have to wait because the teller is busy - chatting to a friend. At last I'm noticed, the friend steps aside and I am served. My greeting to the teller is ignored. My slip is checked, ticked and stamped and then all the information is copied, written by hand into a ledger. This fools me completely because the electricity is on and the computer screen at the tellers side is working. The teller takes my ID, withdrawal slip and ledger book and disappears. When he reappears he says : 'What about my commission?' What commission I ask, saying I wasn't informed there would be a commission and saying that I know the depositor paid bank transfer fees and commissions at the other end. "No," he says, you have to pay a commission." I am then told to deduct the amount and change and counter sign all the amounts written in words and numbers on the now stamped and signed withdrawal slips to allow the bank its commission.

Finally after 17 minutes and now with one other customer in the bank, the money looks like it may be forthcoming. The teller shouts out through the bullet proof glass to someone in the back to bring him bank notes. They only have small denominations it turns out and finally these appear in a locked steel box. Checked and rechecked below the counter, the teller finally pushes a pile of notes across to me. No, I say, I wish you to count the notes to me. "What?" he says. I repeat my request and he rolls his eyes and with an audible sigh, the bank notes are counted to me. 26 minutes later and again the only person in this very well known international bank, I leave.

Will I be back soon - I don't think so. This is the face of Zimbabwe for investors and tourists, what a shocking disgrace both for a country and an international bank.

©Copyright cathy buckle 14th November 2009.

www.cathybuckle.com

For information on my new book: "INNOCENT VICTIMS" or my previous books, "African Tears" and "Beyond Tears," or to subscribe/unsubscribe to this newsletter, please write to: cbuckle@mango.zw

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Dust To Dust Amen. by Africa to Africa on November 15 2009, 08:45 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

alec hogg bails out of moneyweb Why is Alec Hogg selling his Moneyweb shares? It was in August he told us he was a long-term holder. Is he broke and needs the cash? by mildred on November 15 2009, 09:52 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

@ Milly: Alec has to pay Cathy somehow now that its in US$ this face of africa is nothing new. Give a darkie a little power and they'll use it to the max. It s the same here now. Make you stand in line and wait wherever they can, becasue they can. They LOVE power distance. It's the only thing they . .more understand. And NEVER ask a darkie for permission to do something. It will always be NO! . .less by Dave on November 15 2009, 10:14 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Bizarre @Dave: Wow, that is truly racist. Where did that hatred come from? You are a disgusting person and I hope that you don't have children. Your blood line needs to stop right here. by Dan on November 15 2009, 11:29 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Not sooo bad! I run a business in Zim, i deal with a couple of banks and they an absolute pleasure. My balance can be checked on internet banking, my trnasfers and t.t's are effected immediately. I stand in no queues or anything like. Its actually a pleasure to . .more deal with them. I doubt that I would get such non-beaurocratic and personalised service even in South Africa. . .less by Shiraan on November 15 2009, 11:48 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

@dave quite true. by jake on November 15 2009, 13:12 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Mildred You are a jerk! by Green Mielies on November 15 2009, 17:31 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

I have no doubt this is where Malema is happy to take SA As leader of the ANC he appears to favour the Mugabe route in my opnion. Pity that Zille is proving a bit of a dissappointment. Come on Jacob get us all working together as a team and overule these people. Are you up for it Jacob? Cancel BEE and all . .more these racist policies designed to promote corruption. . .less by Sad Africa on November 15 2009, 17:38 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Zim We do not care any longer. by ono on November 15 2009, 17:49 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

@Sad Africa The only people Zille is disappointing is the ANC - and that is because she is so darn good. Everyone else is pretty much ecstatic with her intelligence, work effort, non corruptibility, and her amazing insight into the country's problems. by Sad Days on November 15 2009, 18:23 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

zim who the hell cares about ZIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please stop telling us - no-one really cares and ceased to so long ago by D*** on November 15 2009, 20:20 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

@ shiraan and Cathy This is very weird. One of you is clearly either liviing in a parallel dimension; or taking some serious substance; or just plain lying. Given Cathy's credentials and my knowledge of these creatures, I wholeheartedly endorse her version; - and . .more shiraan, - get therapy and don't talk such p.c. drivel.. ( By the way, where do you get your U.S D. from ?) . .less by Voortrekker on November 15 2009, 20:54 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

@ Dan Actually, Dave will probably only have 2 or 3 'civilized' kids.- unlike you lot who mount every willing or un-willing female you come across in your endless, promiscuous, mindless existence, and then deny responsibility when the result calls you . .more 'Deddie'. . .less by ground-dweller on November 15 2009, 21:11 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

@Voortrekker I did't say she's lying or anything like that I actually like her articles. Probably a case of me being used to the bank I use, the managements etc( They actually trying very hard to get whatever business they can get) and her getting into an . .more international bank who's not soo hungry for business. I just hope the politics gets resolved here (which looks unlikely at the moment) because the people of Zimbabwe deserve better. Regards. . .less by Shiraan on November 15 2009, 22:48 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Which International Bank? Please can you tell us which international bank? Was it the same one that got lots of publicity in MW a couple of weeks back with their brand spanking shining branch? Why should only the good news come with a name? by Kim on November 16 2009, 05:03 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

BARCLAYS BANK I was there the other day. It's Barclay's Bank. Fortunately I do not bank with these clowns - never will, especially having briefly experienced their Zimbabwe debacle. What a nerve to actually call it a Bank!! by Patapon Keesha on November 16 2009, 06:21 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

@ Shiraan Point taken.- Good luck. by Voortrekker on November 16 2009, 06:45 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Ummm..... @Ground-dweller: By 'you lot', do you mean white english people. Because I'm both of those things. the difference between you and me is that I don't hide behind a blog to get my true, confused, racist feelings out. Obviously everybody experiences . .more some sense of tribalism, it's very natural and a result of our need to protect our "own", but blatant racism has no place in a globalised world. While communities get bigger, people need to accept each others differences, rather than refuse to try to understand them and spread very uneducated generalisations. . .less by Dan on November 16 2009, 07:42 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

@Dan Very pretty thinking, and very correct too. But you really do need to understand the realities of Africa and toughen up a bit before you wind up with a bullet in the face from some trigger-happy hijacker who you thought just wanted to say "hello". . .more BTW, I'm white and English too, but I've obviously been around longer than you have. . .less by Alset on November 16 2009, 08:45 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Change to Standard Chartered I have internet banking, foreign USD accounts and an ATM card. Cathy, this is a very racist article and you are trying to hype that Zim is not coming right when my business is booming like never before. You sound like lot of the racist white . .more commentators on Moneyweb who live in the past. Move on, don't become like David Bullard. . .less by White Zimbo on November 16 2009, 09:16 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

@ dan You really should visit Africa some time. by Ground-dweller on November 16 2009, 09:25 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Which bank? Must have been Stanbic / Standard Bank - they are shocking, throughout Africa. Seems like their Zim operations could actually be worse than their Botswana one's...! by Ben on November 16 2009, 09:26 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Zimbabwe Now that most Whites left Zim, she will revert back to the mean. That is, Zim will revert to what she would have been had whtie people not make it their home (i.e. back to the stone age, where she belongs). Africa too far behind to ever catch up . .more without intervention from more intellectually endowed races. . .less by AP on November 16 2009, 09:52 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

no problems over inflated and loads of journalistic freedom, cathy does it again, Big white lies, get this girl outta here!! by snore on November 16 2009, 10:27 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

two sides of a coin without taking anything away from Cathy, this is far from my experience of Zim banking right now. like other comments. the banks are competing big time to get hold of your deposits. some banks are poor but you will find that anywhere. I . .more bank in dollars but if I want other currencies I can withdraw rand, pula, pounds, euros. get screwed on the rate but show me a bank that doesn't. Cathy, you should have named and shamed the bank. btw SA companies are doing deals galore in Zim - based on some of the comments above, they are idiots throwing away their money. . .less by buffdaddy on November 16 2009, 11:47 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Lol Funny, the whole world is perfect run by those with intellect, selfless leaders, taking care of the world around them, no corruption, no crime - just perfect! Bulgeria, Latvia, Iceland, Russia, China, Columbia, Venezuela, all great places . .more no problems... UK (Need armed police patrolling estates in London because of the high knife and gun crime rate), USA, Australia (who are thinking of banning property building on their coast line because of rising ocean levels, I thought Australia was only made up of coastline cities - did you see the sheet of ice floating their way??) Every country is in DIRE trouble in one form or another... All the moron politicians deny it, but wait until the financial crisis is seen for what it is - an unsustainable abortion where west crash and east dominate in full... Black and white is irrelevant! . .less by JWise on November 16 2009, 13:30 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Lazy Thinking @ Alset: I understand that violent crime and massive amounts of corruption are very big problems in Africa. But Dave, ground-dweller, and yourself all seem to be entertaining the idea that these are problems caused by the mere fact that the majority . .more of our population is "black". This is very lazy thinking, it is probably untrue. The problems stem from much deeper structural flaws in our economy, politics and culture. If the majority of the population happened to have lighter skin because of colder climates, the problems that we face would still be equally severe. . .less by Dan on November 16 2009, 16:19 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Alec Hogg's share sale You asked us why founder and CEO Alec Hogg is selling his shares, read the full story here: http://www.moneyweb.co.za/mw/view/mw/en/page293731?oid=330932&sn=2009%20Detail&pid=287226 by Monique | Moneyweb on November 16 2009, 16:22 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

@ dan -'Lazy thinking";-'entertaining the idea';-'deeper structural flaws etc.' Dan, stop trying to sound profound. -For that matter your pointless narrative does sound profound,.....- profoundly stupid that is. Oh, perhaps I'm un-observant, but . .more I don't see swathes of high-jacking, raping, pillaging, and murdering whites . I DO, however ,see on-going, relentless, barbaric, on-going henious crimes comitted on an hourly basis by the savages you so in-articulatley try to defend. . .less by Tree-dweller on November 16 2009, 17:38 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

@Dan: yes, maybe i'm not PC enough but if you truly understand the dimensions of culture, which I have spent many years studying and you allude to, then you'd understand what I'm saying about power distance. And yes, it is stereotypical of me but I'd love you to prove me . .more wrong. What Cathy describes is the result of dumbing-down society to suit the lowest common denominator, in this the darkies who hold power in Zim. This is not lazy thinking...just thinking based on experience. So...go read Hostede and you will understand the root cause of african and world problems. I'm not wrong. . .less by Dave on November 16 2009, 17:46 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Lots of naughts .. Wow Cathy, those are a lot of naughts ..you would need a big calculator to work all that out, one almost as big as the vacuum in Mugabe's head. by Airwolf on November 16 2009, 22:41 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Response @Tree-dweller: "in-articulatley"? Really? White people make up less than 10% of the S.A. population, while on average earning about 6-7 times more than the average black person( -75% of the population). This in itself is enough to explain away your . .more stupid observation (although not the only reason you're wrong). @Dave: I have read a little bit of Hofstede. France has a power distance index of 68, China has a PDI of 80, while South Africa has a PDI of 49. There are far more black people in South Africa than in France or China. It is true that, generally speaking, the predominantly non-white nations often have higher power distances, but the cases of France and China suggest that there are many other factors causing the power distance spread (besides oversimplifying it down to race). Come on. . .less by Dan on November 16 2009, 23:05 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

magabige duck zimbabwe we are sick and tired of hearing about a failed state tell that to the black ruling elite here while they munch their breakfast cereal by sudanstud on November 17 2009, 06:28 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

@Dan: power distance needs to be viewed in its totality you've just done a google on it. The indices you cite are hardly representative of the full picture. Given that most blacks are collectivists and have a cyclical perception of time, ie no future orinetation, makes power distance a bigger factor than . .more it might be in those countries where there is a future orientation and people actually indulge in absurd concepts such as "planning" and "strategy". Even in China, which is also collectivistic in nature, it is tempered by confucian collectivism, which is inherently founded on "planning" and a future orientation. Look at todays news about the BRT system in Joburg. Did they not forsee this happening? And what are they going to do about it? Nothing! Look at all other state departments and parastatals too. You dont need to look far to see what i'm harping on about. If you want to that is. I mention "power distance" in Cathy's context as the pysche of "power over people". Darkies in africa loves that stuff. you been into any govt departments lately? You been to almost any african border post? Go figure . .less by Dave on November 17 2009, 11:20 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

@Dan: here's some help http://www.library.ln.edu.hk/etext/hkibs/hkws_0040.pdf by Dave on November 17 2009, 11:23 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Broken, poor shame Zim It is not the bank per say..this is probably European, It is the African behind the desk...rude but oblivious to it ...thinking they are doing the customer a favour ..happens all over Da Africa..always has and always will. by pete on November 17 2009, 14:28 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

@Pete There's a little cabal of die hard Zimbabwean farmers "fighters for democracy" read topple Mugabe - who have failed to influence the Zimbabwean electorate to change the admin through the MDC, who now shamelesly use their leverage in the media to . .more denigrate the country they "love" in the name of speaking truth to power. One such courageous fighter namely Ben Freeth and father in law recently had his house burnt down by spirited fighters of another variety namely the green bombers. I fear Cathy might soon attract misfortune of somewhat similar kind. A little caveat perhaps Mrs Buckle. . .less by ZANLA on November 17 2009, 15:25 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Pansi ma Jongwe, pansi! From what I hear on the ground Zim is alive with activity again, and I look forward to cracking an iced Zambezi up at the Falls again soon. To my brothers and sisters up there, black and white... oh sorry - I forgot - we are all down here . .more now. Oh well, Cathy, seems like you are pretty much on your own up there sweetie. Probably why you were the only customer in the bank. ;-) . .less by Mukiwa on November 17 2009, 21:39 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

zim / mugabe Zim has nobody to blame but them self and their wonderful ruler Mogabe by pietie on November 18 2009, 10:02 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

bonkers you are Bob Mugabe is pleading for the world to drop sanctions -the world is pleading for him to put down his mantle - Mad Bob can't you see a win win situation here??? Put simply ...get the $%^& out! by pete on November 19 2009, 14:50 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

web royalty I like this posting.But adding more information will make this site more informative. http://www.webroyalty.com by Nick on January 02 2010, 20:47 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

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