David Bullard reflects on the days when he couldn’t even remember driving home.

JOHANNESBURG - A few readers of last week's article got a little upset at my comment that I used an air gun to maim small animals when I was a boy. One rather hectoring e-mail told me that this was nothing to be proud of. And obviously I'm not proud. I was aiming to kill the small animals and not to maim them and either I was a bad shot or the velocity of my air rifle wasn't up to the task. Just to put your minds at rest though. Any animals I maimed were quickly dispatched with a shovel and no hedgehogs were ever hurt because they were too slow to be considered sport.

Something else I'm not proud of but had to do because it was part of growing up was driving drunk. And I don't mean over the limit. I mean stinking, rotten drunk. The sort of drunk where a two lane road blurs into an eight lane highway, even when you close one eye. I used to occasionally play cricket with a wandering university team in West Sussex. In those days the place was full of real pubs serving decent beer and good bar snacks. We played a game near Midhurst one weekend and Ian Paice, Deep Purple's drummer was playing for the opposing team. So we had a few in the pub to get to know one another before the game and then had quite a few more after the game. Then we all got in our cars and drove slowly home. It was a normal weekend ritual and the village policeman would often be in the pub with you.

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I used to stay with a school friend of mine in Graffham and we would try and visit as many pubs as possible on a Saturday night. To avoid wasting drinking time we would take a half pint each in the car while we were driving to the next pub. We would have a couple of pints at the Foresters at opening time, a couple more at the White Horse, then we would drive to the Three Moles for more beer, a drunken sing song and some whisky and then back to the Foresters for a nightcap and a puke. It was wild hooligan fun and if we'd been from a council estate we would have been called "young hoodlums" by the courts but because we had all gone to expensive schools and had parents who were respected in the community we were referred to as "young men in high spirits". 

Every so often we were so pissed that we lost control of a car and crashed into a farm gate. One mate borrowed his father's 3l Ford Capri and we managed to land that in a ditch in Devon. It needed a tractor to pull it out. Fortunately we crashed quite near a pub called the Digger's Rest so we got out of our skulls there and cadged a lift back to our digs with a fairly sober bloke who had only had seven pints of lager.

I've had evenings when I couldn't remember driving home. I've woken in the morning and rushed down to see what damage has been done to the car. But there it has been, perfectly parked in the garage with not a scratch. How it got there safely heaven knows. If I'd hit something I would never have known. I knew a bloke at the JSE who would get trashed and then drive back to his home in Pretoria. Legend has it that his party trick was to set the car on cruise control, open the sun roof of his Mercedes and then sit on the roof of the car steering with his feet at 120km/h. This probably wouldn't amuse the JMPD.

I mention these dreadful deeds because they are all in the past. I am staggered to still be alive and even more staggered never to have been arrested for drunken driving. I now take the sensible view that my luck is about to run out which is why I have no intention of being picked up by the local police with more than 0.024 of alcohol in my blood. I am delighted to learn there is going to be a crackdown over the Christmas season in Joburg because I really don't want to be wiped out by a drunkard driving on the wrong side of the road. Having been a frequently drunk driver in the past I shudder to think what would have happened to my life if I had ever hit a pedestrian. So these days I am driven or I use a taxi service and very occasionally I stay over if I am at a boozy function.

My only questions on this new drive for sobriety are these. Will it be possible to bribe the cops and will this apply to black drunken drivers in crappy cars? If it's possible to bribe a cop then not wanting to go to prison and possibly even lose your job is worth a lot of money. So let's hope the cops have been carefully chosen or this could turn out to just be another redistribution of wealth racket. I ask the question of equality before the law because the police do seem to target vehicles that suggest the inhabitants may have full wallets. Most of the cars I find weaving around the roads late at night and obviously driven by drunks are missing lights and held together by masking tape. It would be comforting to know that this is about enforcing the law and not about boosting a cop's personal coffers.

There is a downside to this welcome clampdown. According to Transport Spokesman Logan Maistry, you can also be arrested for drunken walking which strikes me as a bit draconian. If I choose to drink too much and responsibly decide not to drive I don't want PC Plod nicking me for walking home and being drunk in charge of a pair of legs. If I'm walking in the middle of a busy road singing rude songs then maybe I deserve to be arrested but if I'm staggering home on a pavement and bothering nobody then leave me alone please.

All of this may make life rather difficult for the bibulous editor of a well known Sunday newspaper and his cronies. Rumour has it that they are burrowing a tunnel through to Katzy's bar from 4 Biermann Avenue to avoid being arrested for drunken walking. That way they can reach their luxury cars in safety and then drive home as normal.  

Click here to view more of David Bullard's bloody dangerous articles 

*After 24 years as a trader in the global financial markets David Bullard decided to opt for an easy life and became a journalist. His iconic "Out to Lunch" column has been running for 15 years and is as offensive as ever. Not that he gives a damn...

Write to David Bullard: davidbullard@moneyweb.co.za

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responses to this article

Drunk driver Sorry David, I lost interest in this one before I got to the end. by AA on November 26 2009, 01:36 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Bored me too, quit at 3rd paragraph ... by Jon on November 26 2009, 06:50 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Drunk Driver You sound like a grown up Malema....There is hope! by Hope on November 26 2009, 07:17 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Sad got to the end but surely if you got it in for these guys deal with it one on one ,this is not he place and i didnt think that this is what the column was about. by Really on November 26 2009, 07:22 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

More Sunday Times moaning c'mon David, you're really starting to sound like a prat. You ruined a long, boring column by finally getting to the point which hardly turned out to be a surprise. More crying for your lost job. All this blowhard about being overbooked and loaded . .more is awfully shrill. . .less by donovan on November 26 2009, 07:38 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

The Old days! Ja well no fine. It was a different world then. Joey's was a place of serious Parties (company/ private/ Hockey/ any other) and mean't that a good collection of guys and gals travelled home smashed; surprisingly (in retrospect) to live another . .more day. I learnt to hate hangovers and that is what really made me refrain from too too many. David - a good reminder of good times (in the 70's) - but like you am glad some attempt has been made to stop/ slow them down nowadays.! . .less by Gus on November 26 2009, 07:39 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Oh, and... ...accusing Mondli Makhanya of being 'bibulous' in a column in which you confess to all manner of drunken shenanigans...hate to point it out, but you're the one who is the unreconstructed (ha ha) booze-addled p1ss artist. Pot calling the kettle, . .more err, BLACK? There I said it :-) . .less by donovan on November 26 2009, 07:41 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Drunken Walking! David it seems that you will have to live in SA for a few more decades in order to comprehend that it is in the best interest of the p!ssed pedestrians to be arrested because their intoxicated make them a sitting duck for the criminals. SA is not . .more the UK, consequently only a fool walks around in the streets at night! Hell, I miss those days curfews, it sure did make city life safer and a more pleasant experience! . .less by LongFellow on November 26 2009, 07:57 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Opinion Piece I want my two minutes back. by GP on November 26 2009, 08:07 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Not Your Best I was looking foward to Thursday but was also greatly dissapointed. I also agree - leave the ST alone now, you have made your point months ago. I am, however,still looking forward to next Thursday. by Andy on November 26 2009, 08:19 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Tortured soul needs cleansing Poor ol' david bullard. cant you write a column without mentioning sunday times and mondli makhanya?? you seriously need therapy to cleanse your soul. maybe you need to confess that you DO read the sunday times and you miss your old job at 4 . .more Biermann Avenue . .less by AA on November 26 2009, 08:25 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

why bring race into it Will it be possible to bribe the cops and will this apply to black drunken drivers in C***** cars. Why bring race into it? by mlungisi on November 26 2009, 08:27 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Not your best In summary this was an account of your irresponsible youth, a theoretical question about bribing cops and the never ending pathological hate for the Sunday Times. Booooooring. by Sir August on November 26 2009, 08:29 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Understand the relevance over the festive season but not your best DB Perhaps a little promo? What about Moneyweb Community voting on DB's best contribution/piecefor 2009? Use it. Don't use it. by Roberts on November 26 2009, 08:56 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Great Like you I find it amazing that I am still alive, driving home from parties , driving the wrong way around roundabouts just for a laugh! Checking the car next morning was also a ritual & a surprise, a. it was there & b. it wasn't wrecked! It was . .more covered in mud sometimes though & I never knew why. I lived in Surrey where the pubs then closed at 1030 pm, on a Friday, but in Sussex they were open till 11. We'd drive 15 miles to the Fox at Buck's Green from Guilldford for a last pint and a sing song round the piano. Chucking out time was also not too strictly enforced, so we could often get a coule down before the long drive home. The roads were quiter in those days. I don't do this now though, being a good deal older and a littel wiser. Cheers, keep it up. . .less by Alan on November 26 2009, 08:58 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

subliminal racism ...........will this apply to black drunken drivers in C***** cars? THE FORM, CONTENT AND STRUCTURE OF YOUR ARTICLE INFORMS US THAT YOU HAVE NOT YET RECOVERED FROM YOUR PERMANENT HANGOVER. YOU AR STILL CAUGHT IN A SERIOUS . .more TIME WARP . .less by GUINESS FOWL on November 26 2009, 09:05 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Too close for comfort I think! I think this a great piece. The angst of waking up with the terror of not knowing how you got to bed (it was always worse if you were not alone), needs to be circulated. I've been there myself. I've had to drive on the cats eyes in order to know . .more I was going in a straight line (you've swerved when the bumps stop), hurled into my lap, had someone throw up half-digested hot dog and beer in my face and hair, had a mate hold the passenger door open at 60km/h so that he could watch the painted line and make sure we were driving straight (neither of us could see the road), etc. What is going to bring on the critical comments is that everyone who reads this is going to feel a pang of guilt and go on the defensive . .less by Frank on November 26 2009, 09:18 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Drunk Driving David, in your days of drunkedness, you didnt happen to be a judge did you, and you didnt drive a Yengeni (Mercedes 4x4) did you? by Nostradamus on November 26 2009, 09:21 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Cops JMPD take a bride EVERY single time.. last weekend.. R60 got my mate clean off. He was completely smashed. Fix the cops, its the only way to stop our national sport. by Zork on November 26 2009, 09:25 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

walking drunk You imply that walking drunk is far less dangerous than driving drunk. Read Superfreakonomics by Levitt and Dubner. In the introduction they calculate that a drunk walking is 8 times more likely to get killed than a drunk driving. Even . .more including the number of people killed by drunk drivers, they calculate that per mile walking drunk causes 5 times more death than driving drunk. So do not walk home from a party, rather drive, that way you save more lives :-) . .less by the_hun on November 26 2009, 09:37 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

HJ@yahoo.com I'd rather watch food getting ready in the microwave than finish reading this article. by HJ on November 26 2009, 09:45 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

It's phuuuuuuuza, Thirsday by Bra' Matthews on November 26 2009, 09:45 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Mecedes Sun Roof The JSE guy with Mercedes was Freddie Hugo...legend in his own time!! by Sun Roof on November 26 2009, 10:03 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Who cares Booooring booooring -- youth wasted on the young and not so young!! by Twanks on November 26 2009, 10:05 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Drunk? Dave, what about drunken crawling? by jks on November 26 2009, 10:15 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Pathetic article Wake up, Bullard! by Munch on November 26 2009, 10:41 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

A whole new meaning to blind drunk And no mention of the humungus hangovers. Scary part is that that most "normal" SA men have been there at some stage in their lives. And the not so lucky whose angels were not looking over them - well perhaps they are in a better place. And those . .more who woke up maimed.......well that's the heartbreak. . .less by Maltster on November 26 2009, 10:44 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

psychology 101 you have ran out of ideas. it seems that you are unable to reinvent yourself post the sunday times. now i understand why the tired attack on them - you have lost your mojo. by fidel on November 26 2009, 10:53 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Pathetic Your jibes at the Sunday Times are becoming old now. None of us read that C*** publication, so why do you need to remind us of its existence? by Mark on November 26 2009, 10:59 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

confessions of a drunken driver Great article.Rings many bells and obviously with some who dont want to remember by Rob on November 26 2009, 11:07 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

"Click here to view more of David Bullard's bloody dangerous articles " No thanks. by x on November 26 2009, 11:10 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Best article in the world EVER !!! No this is not sarcastic, i could relate. (btw @ JKS - LMFAO!!!) - So this is to all the comments above me - the ONLY thing more boring than hearing you all complaining about ST, Racism and a not good enough article is being sober on New Year!. . .more ROFL. if you want a high paced, action packed and intellectually informative article, why can't you just enjoy some of the (very tasty i might add) snacks while you wait for a well reputed main course. Spoiled i say... . .less by Fake Boy on November 26 2009, 11:26 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Valuable I think this is valuable. Most of us have driven drunk and, now we are mature and responsible, shudder, at what might have happened. Is it funny? I don't think so. Imagine killing your own kids! How do we persuade our kids to be different? Are we . .more supposed to revere notorious drunks like the one described?I also wonder what is so comical about being drunk? It's the most popular humour theme after sex. . .less by Fogget on November 26 2009, 11:31 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Yip, we've all been there... ... and an enterprising magistrate in Port Alfred featured in the Daily Dispatch recently for sentencing two drunk drivers to shifts in the local mortuary so they could ponder the life-threatening error of their ways. He also called Port Alfred a . .more "drinking town with a fishing problem". . .less by Gill Moodie on November 26 2009, 11:43 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Public drinking For all of you who will be drinking in the car while your friend drives,You will be arrested for drinking in the passenger seat ! Its considered public drinking as you are on a public road.But you can drink in your car in your drive way. by Mik on November 26 2009, 11:51 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

agree ...not your best After the preamble i expeted a bit on Mc Bride. by russell on November 26 2009, 12:03 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

You have all got it wrong!!!! Was this article was written for the benefit of the ANC ?....Thabo, Blaise, Mal Enema, the Judge etc etc are now all going to be extremely proud of their achievements in this department. DB practiced it, and they perfected it!! (the art . .more of drinking ....!) The irony is that DB is actually exposing the SA authorites for their inability to control a real problem...Don't shoot the messenger....Look and think a little deeper, and you won't be bored or miss the point.... Keep it going David. Judging by some of these comments, these sibliminal messages maybe a little too subtle for for some readers.....;-) LOL !!!! . .less by Devil's Advocate on November 26 2009, 12:06 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Brilliant prose, David. Hunger seems to be improving your writing skills :-) :-) :-) by GungetsTuft on November 26 2009, 12:08 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

RACE YOU JUST HAVE TO BRING THE RACE ISSUE. BUT MORE SUPRISING IS YOU DIDNT EVEN HINT ANYTHING ABOUT JULIOUS MALEMA AND THE ANC. WOW!! BRAVO by UP GRADE on November 26 2009, 12:10 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

BORING!!!!!!!!!!!! Methinks Mr Bullard is now past his sell-by date. by Gerald on November 26 2009, 12:17 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Lessons in marketing from you lot? No thanks So it's a C*** article but it leapt to number 1 on the best read list. People who claim to be bored and not to have read it still take the trouble to make multiple comments. It's got people talking and garnered 40 comments by lunch and it's . .more gratuitously insulted the editor of the ST and got one criticism for racism. Straight flush I would say. Listen bedwetters.....don't mess with the Eric Clapton of the blogosphere. . .less by David Bullard on November 26 2009, 12:26 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Diggers Rest I remember a Diggers Rest, near Exeter - excellent establishment! Could it be the same? David you also caused me to remember some friends who weren't so lucky, and perished on the roads of Surrey, Sussex - and indeed . .more Johannesburg. Fortunately the younger generation seem to have more brain cells than we did. My son at Rhodes seems to be pretty careful since he also lost a friend at the end of a drunken night out. In our youth when somebody said they had never been caught drinking and driving, they were either lucky or a liar. . .less by Rod on November 26 2009, 12:58 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Thanks David for a good reminder Drunk driving is causing huge carnage on our roads. I don't do it anymore but when I was younger - it's a miracle I'm still alive. More people need to be honest about the problem - thanks David for having the courage to admit these . .more things. Very few people can say they have never driven under the influence. It's a subject that needs a lot more public airing. . .less by Andy on November 26 2009, 13:00 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

HO HUM Dave, were you drunk when you wrote this article ? by peter on November 26 2009, 13:20 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

@Rod The very same. Landlord in my time was Freddie who ended the evening by telling everyone to F***** off. He once told me to stop singing in his pub so I puked all over his chrysanths. Swans Nest was for chatting up posh totty from the University and . .more the John Bull was for drinking natch and getting philosophical after a joint a nd a Hawkwind LP. . .less by David Bullard on November 26 2009, 13:28 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

no relevance I fail to see the relevance of you article (let alone boring) to a moneyweb finansial website supposed to educate me on finances by johan on November 26 2009, 13:29 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Right time of year It's the right time of year for this message. Thirty years ago (heck, twenty years ago) I would have been unable to understand the concern. Now I lie awake at night and wait for my kids to come home - they are sober, but I keep fearing they will . .more encounter other drivers like me... . .less by Darwin on November 26 2009, 13:32 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Have you seen a drunk person try crossing the road? Dtunk people walking get hit by cars, even by sober drivers because that drunk person will just walts across any street without thinking. It really freaks me out by Not so simple on November 26 2009, 13:37 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

GOOD ONE Did the Capri have starsky and Hutch stripes on it, now they were jazzier than a new mustang. back on you`re head DB. by James I on November 26 2009, 13:39 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

"the Eric Clapton of the blogosphere" A "slow hand" is not as compelling when it comes to writing David or did you just mean slow? by cream on November 26 2009, 13:44 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Entertaining Another entertaining read Mr. B !!! Keep up the jovial work. by Paul TC on November 26 2009, 13:57 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Drunk Driving Cars are like racing pigeons,they always find their way home.How would any of us be alive otherwise? by Phuzee on November 26 2009, 14:06 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

@Johan Jeeez....you sound like a crashing bore old son. Go and buy an economics text book and a box of Kleenex extra strength tissues would be my suggestion. by David Bullard on November 26 2009, 15:13 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

david@beyachad.co.za Don't know how anyone could call this boring. I was tickled all the way through - including up to the dig at the ST mafiosae. Keep it up Dave! by david Saks on November 26 2009, 15:25 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

In your dreams Bullard... Clapton you wish.....more like Frikkie Pisskat Koekemoer. by Marmite on November 26 2009, 15:43 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Matter of time..... Davey, its a matter of time till Alec fires you too pal, article boring and you have run out of useful things to say. Stop writing, maybe go back to trading. by Landlord on November 26 2009, 16:11 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

David, you've lost David, I think you've lost it. You used to be so witty, so irreverent that this article makes me wonder how it even made it to this platform. Moneyweb has always prided itself on the quality writing of its journos. You're dragging it down. I think . .more it's time to retire. At the rate you're going, it is indeed a matter of time before Alec fires you. And guess, you'll be out of a job again and guess what, those cronies at ST will still have jobs. Think about it. . .less by Tired David on November 26 2009, 16:51 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

is it true? Iv heard a rumor that black taxi drivers in SA continuously drink cheap alcohol and smoke dagga in order to meet the quotas imposed upon them by the bosses, and they then account for all the carnage on the roads. does anyone have any clarity on . .more this, surely it cant be all the carnage? . .less by frightened black immigrant on November 26 2009, 17:17 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

wot a laugh What a boring old bunch you are. Bullard could have been writing a chapter from my life here. Great column, good laugh. Chin, chin... or should I say omhoogering! by Mr Bibly on November 26 2009, 17:29 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

@ Tired David try V***** by phd anger management on November 26 2009, 17:30 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

"will this apply to black drunken drivers in C***** cars?" Really, David - is it necessary to bring up race, even in a c***** piece about your laddish days? Is it? by Jimmy on November 26 2009, 17:42 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Recollections "Heigh Ho, said Roly" by Geraldo on November 26 2009, 17:52 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

The Art Of The Comeback... Come back young idiots all black and hiding behind your nicknames. Yes answer to me all you black and dark people. This column was not intended to draw all of you editors out of the closet. All of you editors that DO NOT get paid by a corporate . .more sponsor. All you BLACK people should take note that the comment section is for comments ON THE SUBJECT. Not ABOUT THE WRITER. All you black and dark lost souls that can only analyze the person and not the deed. I forever curse you to be black, for you have lost the truth. LMFAO????? LMFAO ????? . .less by Fake Boy on November 26 2009, 18:18 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

100 years ago... 100 years ago we rode horses to work and rode drunk, 25 years ago we did it in our cars, in 75 years time we will be flying to work and after a few beers flying home, jmpd will not catch us. I have hit 3 pedestrians at various speeds, sometimes I . .more have been drunk and most of the time they have, all got up and walked away even the guy who I hit at 120 kph. The more drunk you are the less you care or feel...great article . .less by navega on November 26 2009, 18:56 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Out To... DB, let's do lunch! by Charl on November 26 2009, 19:08 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

It is fake to grow up sober... The point is i actually can't remember. LMFAO by Fake Boy on November 26 2009, 20:03 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Ha ha This one disappeared pretty quick from Moneyweb front page, aye Bavid Dullard, the Clapton of the blogosphere. Hubris. Always makes the wearer look a bit of a tool. Chin chin, tifflypinks and what ho, old chap. by donovan on November 26 2009, 20:48 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Sob sob ......I'm finished. washed up. Only a matter of time before Alec gives me marching orders. I can feel it. Even booted off the Moneyweb Home page. Dammit....I'll have to dip into the trust fund again. by David Bullard on November 26 2009, 21:39 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

PRIZE IDIOT. ALEC HOGG AND JULIAN ASKIN--? ALEC HOGG AND HIS WIFE--? SAY NO MORE. by James I on November 26 2009, 22:04 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Don't let the bastards wear you down 146 thumbs up to 26 down. Not bad odds - sod the nay sayers. Bet some wally at the Times has figured out how to reset his IP address and spends the whole day doing so just to get the thumbs down figure up... by Lux Occulta on November 26 2009, 22:27 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Keep death off the roads.... drive on the pavement... by Cops on November 27 2009, 09:46 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Do I see mid life crisis apprroaching When men your age start talking nostalgically about the idiocy of their youth, beware. Next step - young blonde thing and the most expensive car you probably can't afford. by Sisi on November 27 2009, 09:51 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

DB the high ground DB, consistent educational high ground always prevails. The thick majority will always be the thick majority. se la vie, it applies in any language or tribe, et al. humanisim is the most stupid social . .more prevalence ever employed by africans hehe, seee. . .less by James I on November 27 2009, 14:34 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

At least we, the peanut gallery, still have our integrity 'Mr Clapton' Read this and remember what integrity means. Remember your apology, your friend and former editor, whom you claimed to 'respect immensely'. No? Well we do. And the Internet is persistent like . .more that. http://www.thoughtleader.co.za/thespike/2008/04/18/bullard-sorry-was-out-to-lunch/ All we've seen is a chap who tried to save his skin when the writing was on the wall...then realised after the fact that he could keep plying his trade, while sucking on a miserable cheap cigar, and reneged on all his pretty promises of contrition. Sucks to be you, Dullard. Eric Clapton, my ar$e, but you sure are providing entertainment. You know, just like how watching a train wreck is entertaining? . .less by donovan on November 27 2009, 16:19 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

@donovan Donovan, when i used to go down to the meadows area of Edinburgh, we frequented CHEZ FREDS pub. When we left the pub at 12, slaughtered, we would go round the cornor to the chippie and a bloke called Donovan used to serve us. We used to take the . .more utter P*** out of him by insisting on smoked sausage(willy/D***, etc) or other names and chips infront of his female assistant, who used to K** herself with laughter. You seem to be the same sorry chap. So that `ll be, ah, 3 smoked cocks and chips please, Donovan. . .less by James I on November 27 2009, 20:48 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

coming right up Sounds like the three of you were indeed 3 smoked cocks. And a good day to you sir! by donovan on November 28 2009, 09:40 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

@Donovan .....Contrition never came into it. I was apologising to people who had taken offence. I have no problem with the content of the final column. I don't respect Makhanya at all....I admit that was a lie. I think he's a drunken, lying, overpromoted . .more piece of s**t. That clear enough? And, most importantly, it's a Hoyo Epicure number 2 which I wouldn't call a cheap cigar. . .less by David Bullard on November 28 2009, 12:05 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Thanks David Heheheh, loving that honesty now. By the way, I had no problem with the final column either and tend to agree with your analysis of Makhanya. Unfortunately at least some of the analysis could easily be describing, well, you! Peace out, bro. . .more Looking forward to the next one. Hopefully no dull mentions of drunks and sh1tty newspapers, but we'll see. . .less by donovan on November 29 2009, 18:40 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Ode to Robin Dear David Thank you so much for recounting a time in my life I recall with fondness. My pal Robin was imported from the UK by the meatboard to set up the Pig Industry in SA. After several Soujourns he ended up in the Rose & Crown . .more where we spent many a good time exchanging pints and driving back to the farm pissed. He use to recall all the Pub - Dashing day's in Yorkshire, where he hails from, with such "vigor valour and vim" that it left the pub rolling in mirth on many an occasion. I do hope he is still well and causing havoc - much as yourself. Thanks again. . .less by John on November 29 2009, 22:40 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Boring article C'mon David, you running out of ideas? by JC on November 30 2009, 11:47 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

all of the above Did the same but on a John Player Special Norton 750 commando. The good thing about the Norton was you had to kick start it before you could ride it so it could never be ridden after 5 pipes and 1 over the 8. 7 and a half maybe buit not 8. by andrewa on November 30 2009, 21:14 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

JMPD fringe benefits Dont be jealous of our cars David. Its the only thing we have. If you want the car that mutch take it and let me have your trust fund account. eh he I like the point about wealth distribution. A JMPD officer gets a R4k bonus which is . .more petrol money really for one month for most of us, but if he arrests me especial in Dec, he might get double that. Hence this is a wealth distribution excercise. So arresting a guy in Tazz could be a real waste of time, lots of tears and I am sorry. Me, lets talk chief, how do we both make the best of this situation? The police gets his/her fringe benefits, I go home to my comfortable bed. . .less by Gambu on December 01 2009, 12:55 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

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