Meet the "tenderpreneurs", South Africa's cheap punk, nasty, B-grade versions of ball busting Somali pirates.

JOHANNESBURG - Scrawny Somali pirates in battered boats, armed with rusty machine guns, get up to foul and disgusting things, all right. But these characters have balls that rank among the biggest in the world, to say nothing of the oceans. These pirates are at risk of being taken out - vaporised - by patrolling warships flaying flags of some of the world's richest nations. Close to a year ago, a pack of these fearless bandits captured the 330-meter Sirius Star, one of the biggest ships in the world.

Compare these characters to the spineless, gutless cowardly class of South African business persons known as "tenderpreneurs," collectively the scourge of a nation.  Tenderpreneurs spend their time flagellating completely bent and twisted corrupt activities, ripping tens of billions of rands a year out of the South African economy. For budding DIY enthusiasts, the classic case on the inner workings of tender fraud was released early in 2007 with the blessing of the Supreme Court of Appeal (SCA), based in Bloemfontein.

"Unfortunately", wrote Judge Jonathan Heher, "as experience in this Court proves, the high standards that the Constitution sets seem to be more honoured in the breach than in the observance". The judgement in Minister of Social Development v Phoenix Cash & Carry [2007] SCA 26 (RSA), describes indescribable events, involving unknown persons, not unlike the indescribable image of a person sucking the breath out of a dying cat's mouth.

Where Somali pirates face the possibility of being blasted to smithereens by high-tech howitzers of instant death, tenderpreneurs in South Africa are accustomed to using taxpayer money to fight cases where they are caught looting taxpayer money. In the vomit-inducing Phoenix case, the complainant, Phoenix Cash & Carry, sued the-then minister of Social Development, Zola Sidney Themba Skweyiya, and three of the entities that won the tender in question, Snotho Trading, MDC Catering, and Pfula Mbokoto Consortium.

Previously, Phoenix held a contract to supply food hampers to poor families in KwaZulu-Natal and Eastern Cape. Contract renewals were called, with the closing date set as March 30 2005, with the aim of appointing local service providers and consortiums to supply food items to about 150 000 families. Phoenix submitted a bid which included the full nine yards - letters from Standard Bank, Newcastle Branch, a letter from Messrs Khan, Salejee & Company, Chartered Accountants, letters from six proposed commodity suppliers, and so on.

Around October 4 2005 Phoenix learnt that the tender had been awarded to the other entities. The department supplied certain information, showing, for example, that tender prices per parcel from those awarded the tender ranged between R269.10 and R299.69, more than 50% higher than the prices tendered by Phoenix.

Vomit One: after Phoenix won its case in the High Court, the matter was taken on appeal to the SCA. The representative of the department, one Ms Phemba, was unable to supply Phoenix's attorneys with the addresses of Snotho and Pfula. As such, these parties could not be served or given notice of court proceedings. "Yet", Judge Heher noted, these parties "were represented by counsel when the matter came to court. This also was unexplained".

Official records show that Snotho, a close corporation, was only incorporated after the closing date of the tender. Judge Heher found that the merits of Phoenix's tender "were so manifest and the grounds of its exclusion so flimsy that doubts are necessarily raised as to the reliability and credibility of the procurement process employed by the department".

Vomit Two: counsel representing the corrupt entities asked the SCA to make orders in their favour when such counsel did not know the true nature of the evil entities, or the faces behind them. One solution to this evil and vile practice would be to hire a few platoons of Somali pirates to come down to South Africa. Here they could be paid good bounty for bringing in screeching tenderpreneurs, led in by the testicles or the tits, and in some cases, by both.

Write to Barry Sergeant: barry@moneyweb.co.za

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To be honest To be honest I am sooo tired of reading about corruption, tender irregularities, bribes and goverment incompetence I feel like vomiting. I am going to give Moneyweb a 2 week break. by R2D2 on November 04 2009, 12:59 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Pity I really wish that scumbags like this would end up inside one of our lovely prisons and that prisoners were used for dirt cheap hard labour. At least they'd be contributing to society then. by Monkey on November 04 2009, 13:08 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

@ Barry: Mate you should be running the police Epic article even better than your last one. by Senhor on November 04 2009, 13:29 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Barry, this case is only the tip of the iceberg! There are so many other cases of a similar nature where the scumbags will never be caught because the politicians, departmental officials and tenderers/contractors are all in cahoots, each having received their cut which will end up being paid by . .more the SA taxpayer. Oh, by the way don't throw away some of those private autiting firms who are paid megabucks to ajudicate some of tenders, especially foreign aid earmarked for schools where the incumbents skin R 2000 per hour in an advisory capacity all in terms of a formal letter of appointment!! . .less by For Barry on November 04 2009, 13:34 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Stop paying tax Like a fool I believed that we will flourish under ANC, it is now clear as day that the only thing a ANC card carrying black member of our society can do is to steal as much as possible. If found out - they call me racists and carry on. They have no . .more regard for the country, the economy or its people. Steal, steal, steal, attend some stupid meetings, buy expensive cars, clothes, steal some more, blame whites and apartheid for everything, steal some more. So I had enough, no more chances to come right, no more forgiveness for them, I am a young entrepreneur paying few hundred k in tax and VAT each year, I am going to do my utmost best to avoid paying tax and VAT, they can re-build those RDP houses, re-do all those tenders, buy planes we do not need and do what else they want to do but not with my money. Until all my black brothers and sisters start voting with their brain and not stupidity I shall vow to do this, if caught, 10k to make a docket disappear is less then paying TAX. . .less by Sick on November 04 2009, 13:40 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Looting In the townships its called looting. The tender tycoons call it A luta continua. They drive the latest cars, come and show of in the townships, stay in 5 star hotels and pay a percentage to the tender board. People in the township say they miss Tony . .more Leon because under his watch as the OP leader the culprits were named and shamed. SARS has gone quiet and slowly loosing its bite. We have seen the start of township protests and as long as the looting goes on they will continue. . .less by Observer on November 04 2009, 13:41 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

THINK ABOUT OUR KIDS IN SCHOOL There is no more incentive for our children to learn and improve themselves. Society now teaches them to rather connect to some politician like a leach, start clowning around like the ANCYL and hey presto, you can also become the next Motsepe. One . .more way in which we could turn the whole mess around is to only allow people with tax numbers to vote in future, but then the ANC will be evaporated within minutes. All their followers are suffering from entitlement and nothing much else. Great Article Barry (as usual) . .less by AFRICAN WARRIOR on November 04 2009, 14:10 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

@Sick You're right! Fight corruption. Refrain from tax. by Rational on November 04 2009, 15:21 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

There is not one government department that could show a clean bill of health... Tip of the ice berg indeed: - home affairs corrupt to the hillt, - police corrupt and above the law ala blue light brigades and bribery - education department useless and deteriorating at the rate the universe is expanding - . .more health department a disgrace to those that pay taxes for this and even bigger disgrace for those forced to attend a gov. hospital - sport and recreation couldn't organise a drug bust in Nigeria - communications what communicaitons? - land affairs get in the queue to line your pockets Ok, maybe only Treasury and SARS have a clean record... . .less by Nowhere to hide... on November 04 2009, 15:27 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

@R2D2 wake up i dont know many politicians or govermental types that are honest, and i dont know of any succesful honest businessman or woman, you take car of you and your crew and f@*&k the rest ! by frik on November 04 2009, 15:30 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

I'm with "Sick" What is the definition of stupidity? Answer: Doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result... by Johnny V on November 04 2009, 16:02 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Is this not an old Noseweek story? It sounds very familiar, although it has been dressed up somewhat with Ahmed and the Somali pirates. by Tuscanite on November 04 2009, 16:05 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

@AFRICAN WARRIOR OUr children have an incentive to study hard at school. If you do not know the rules, you won't know how to bend them. by Ambrose Bierce on November 04 2009, 16:26 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Trevor .... where are you ? Barry, I trust that you sent a colour copy of this to Trevor Manual, I am sure that he will soon start to hunt down and clean up these people, well that is as soon as he can get his round bottom out of the soft BMW leather ..... but wait there is . .more more .... he needs to just check that there is no skelie in his cupboard or that of ABSA. . .less by Sadsack on November 04 2009, 16:35 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

"Silence, I kill you" SA should employ Ahmed on a permanent basis to terrorise Julius. by Alice37 on November 04 2009, 17:24 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

I KILL YOU . SOUNDS LIKE MELEMA AND OUR INCOMPETENT RACIST BLACK ANC GOVERNMENT . 5 MILLION TAX PAYERS LEFT , SARS HAS A HUGE PROBLEM , RUNNING OUT OF TAX PAYERS . WHAS 6 MILLION , BUT 1 MILLION HAVE PISSED OFF OUT OF THE COUNTRY . SO WE HAVE 5 . .more MILLION CARRYING THE DUMB AND STUPID LIKE MELEMA AND ZUMA ETC , 5 MILLION , THAT'S ALL , PAYING TAX TO SARS and the stupid blacks waste that money . 5 million , tax payers , SA is p huked under black rule . the black mass millions pay p huk all tax , too stupid to pay tax yet have all the say and vote anc and melema . IQ 67 RULE , WHAT A P HUKING MESS . . .less by CHUCKY . on November 04 2009, 23:08 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

Well said Barry ! A worthwhile read. by Basil on November 05 2009, 11:46 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

@barry Sergeant Are you suggesting that Caster Semenya is a tenderpreneur? by Confused on November 05 2009, 22:57 Find this comment inappropriate? Report it

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